نمونه Analytical Writing خود را جهت بررسی و اصلاح در این تاپیک قرار دهید.

[Pejman]

نمونه Analytical Writing خود را (Issue یا Argument) در این تاپیک به صورت ارسال پست یا ضمیمه کردن فایل قرار دهید، تا کاربرانِ دیگر نظرات و اصلاحات احتمالی خود را در مورد آن عنوان دارند.

[blur]

سلام ممنون میشم نظرتونو راجع به این writing بدین.

In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who have contrasting points of view.


Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


Most of the times discussing opposing points of view is essential. Because in this case we can consider every angle of the problem and this evaluation would lead to removing the possible bars and replacing better ideas. This can be a good guarantee for progression. But effects of coming up contrary views depend on the type of subject. Moreover there are some people who come up some opposite ideas intentionally for creating schism among the members of an organization or team. In such cases not only are not contrasting viewpoints useful, but also they can lead to failure.

Stating different viewpoints and taking into account all variable ideas can help progress a lot. For example when the members of a business organization notice all points of view, they can determine all negative and positive facets of their programs. In contrast if the members are not free to tell their different ideas, executive board would not
consider all possible flaws of their plans and it can lead to decreasing the efficacy and regression.

There is an important point to notice and it is that the effect of coming up opposite viewpoints can depend on the setting and situation. About a military operation, it is necessary just commanders decide. If the entire unit’s members want to give their ideas, it may lead to disturbance and disruption. Because unanimous agreement with orders and conformity are so important in military operations.

Sometimes stating contrasting points of view do not lead to progress and success. Because they create schism among the members. There may be some people who intentionally come up some opposite opinions just for making other members suspicious and weakening the solidarity among them. In this case considering such ideas can lead to failure especially in some critical situations which alliance between members is necessary.

In conclusion considering the contrasting viewpoints can lead progress. Because it can make a bigger and more meticulous picture of reality and reveal all facets and flaws of work. But the effectiveness of contrasting opinions can depend on the type of situation and also the intention of the person stating the opposing idea.

[ice]

Most of the times discussing opposing points of view is essential. Because In such this cases, we can consider every angle of the problem and this evaluation could lead to removing the possible bars and replacing them with better ideas. This can be a good guarantee for progression, but the effects of coming up with contrary views depend on the type of subject. Moreover, there are some people who intentionally come up with some opposite ideas for to creating schism among the members of an organization or team. In such cases not only are contrasting viewpoints not useful, but they can also lead to failure.

Stating different viewpoints and taking into account all variable ideas can help progress a lot. For example when the members of a business organization notice all possible points of view, they can determine all negative and positive facets of their programs. In contrast if the members are not free to tell their different ideas, the executive board would not
consider all possible flaws of their plans and it can lead to decreasing the efficacy and regression.

There is an important point to notice keep in mind/remember and it is that the effect of coming up with opposite viewpoints can depend on the setting and situation. For example in About a military operation,Because/as unanimous agreement with orders and conformity are so important
in military operations, it is necessary that just commanders decide. If the entire unit’s members want to give their ideas, it may lead to disturbance and disruption.

Sometimes stating contrasting points of view do not lead to progress and success. Because they create schism among the members. There may be some people who intentionally come up with some opposite opinions to just for making other members suspicious and weakening the solidarity among them. In this case considering such ideas can lead to failure especially in some critical situations in which alliance between members is necessary.

In conclusion, considering the contrasting viewpoints can lead to progress. Because it can make help build a bigger larger and more meticulous picture of reality and reveal all facets and flaws of work. But the effectiveness of contrasting opinions can depend on the type of situation and also the intention of the person stating the opposing idea.

به نظر من (که می تونه کمی سلیقه ای هم باشه ) بهتر بود کمی روی نظر شخصی خودتون محکم تر باشید تا این که فقط شرایط رو توضیح بدید. در دادن مثالها هم در این بخش باز کردن و توضیح کامل در مورد یک مثال برای دفاع از نظرتون نسبت به ارائه چند مثال کوتاه ارزش نمره بیشتری داره. در استفاده از sentence connector هم بیشتر مواظب باشید (گذاشتن ویرگول در جای مناسب)

[javad1980]

Topic: "Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months"                                                                                                                                                  essay: Although the whirlwind company’s sale decrease in two past year, the write try to persuade reader this trend would be reversed in next months. He/She rely on a survey’s result and a chain of reasoning to develop this claim. The author’s main evidence do not consolidate by reliable data and statistics, reasoning face some critical weakness, also he/she forgot to consider other aspects of video game market and advertisement world.
At the first, a field study cite as ground of reasoning without any supporting data. To validate this evidence, writer should supply sufficient data about the survey detail. For example, where is the location this survey conduct? It may be conduct on a specific region that respondent can afford special games and hardware. Alternatively, what is the survey’s answering option?  Perhaps people face a question with limited answering option. In addition, writer should clarify other vagueness from these types in survey.  
Second, the author draw a general conclusion that sale will increase without connecting evidence and claim reasonably.  The writer connect mentioned survey results to sales without considering other relevant factors. The writer should add some assumption about respondent that guarantee they buy new products.  Perhaps, they only interest in video game and do not buy it.  
Third, the writer over simplified video game market with relating people’s attraction to sharp increase sale without considering other major and even minor factors. He/She should add some data about doing market research about video game market size trend and other motivations for potential customer to buy new video game. Even if potential customers will rise in next month, what is the reason to buy whirlwind company’s products? Other market participant can offer games with better computer graphics.
Forth, writer’s claim about effectiveness of advertising campaign without any sufficient evidence. The author use “Extensive advertisement campaign” phrase to magnify the effect of advertisement of whirlwind company, but he/she forgot to evaluate other aspects of this advertising program. For instance, is this advertisement appropriate for young people who writers introduced as potential customer?
In conclusion, the author should add some misassumption about validation of survey, which he/she used as ground of him/her reasoning chain. Also supply more information about relation between survey results and increasing market size, and should relate company’s new product features and advertisement effectiveness to bring new customer to company.
 
 
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