27-08-2013, 11:25 AM
Topic: "Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months" essay: Although the whirlwind company’s sale decrease in two past year, the write try to persuade reader this trend would be reversed in next months. He/She rely on a survey’s result and a chain of reasoning to develop this claim. The author’s main evidence do not consolidate by reliable data and statistics, reasoning face some critical weakness, also he/she forgot to consider other aspects of video game market and advertisement world.
At the first, a field study cite as ground of reasoning without any supporting data. To validate this evidence, writer should supply sufficient data about the survey detail. For example, where is the location this survey conduct? It may be conduct on a specific region that respondent can afford special games and hardware. Alternatively, what is the survey’s answering option? Perhaps people face a question with limited answering option. In addition, writer should clarify other vagueness from these types in survey.
Second, the author draw a general conclusion that sale will increase without connecting evidence and claim reasonably. The writer connect mentioned survey results to sales without considering other relevant factors. The writer should add some assumption about respondent that guarantee they buy new products. Perhaps, they only interest in video game and do not buy it.
Third, the writer over simplified video game market with relating people’s attraction to sharp increase sale without considering other major and even minor factors. He/She should add some data about doing market research about video game market size trend and other motivations for potential customer to buy new video game. Even if potential customers will rise in next month, what is the reason to buy whirlwind company’s products? Other market participant can offer games with better computer graphics.
Forth, writer’s claim about effectiveness of advertising campaign without any sufficient evidence. The author use “Extensive advertisement campaign” phrase to magnify the effect of advertisement of whirlwind company, but he/she forgot to evaluate other aspects of this advertising program. For instance, is this advertisement appropriate for young people who writers introduced as potential customer?
In conclusion, the author should add some misassumption about validation of survey, which he/she used as ground of him/her reasoning chain. Also supply more information about relation between survey results and increasing market size, and should relate company’s new product features and advertisement effectiveness to bring new customer to company.
At the first, a field study cite as ground of reasoning without any supporting data. To validate this evidence, writer should supply sufficient data about the survey detail. For example, where is the location this survey conduct? It may be conduct on a specific region that respondent can afford special games and hardware. Alternatively, what is the survey’s answering option? Perhaps people face a question with limited answering option. In addition, writer should clarify other vagueness from these types in survey.
Second, the author draw a general conclusion that sale will increase without connecting evidence and claim reasonably. The writer connect mentioned survey results to sales without considering other relevant factors. The writer should add some assumption about respondent that guarantee they buy new products. Perhaps, they only interest in video game and do not buy it.
Third, the writer over simplified video game market with relating people’s attraction to sharp increase sale without considering other major and even minor factors. He/She should add some data about doing market research about video game market size trend and other motivations for potential customer to buy new video game. Even if potential customers will rise in next month, what is the reason to buy whirlwind company’s products? Other market participant can offer games with better computer graphics.
Forth, writer’s claim about effectiveness of advertising campaign without any sufficient evidence. The author use “Extensive advertisement campaign” phrase to magnify the effect of advertisement of whirlwind company, but he/she forgot to evaluate other aspects of this advertising program. For instance, is this advertisement appropriate for young people who writers introduced as potential customer?
In conclusion, the author should add some misassumption about validation of survey, which he/she used as ground of him/her reasoning chain. Also supply more information about relation between survey results and increasing market size, and should relate company’s new product features and advertisement effectiveness to bring new customer to company.
