نظرخواهی در مورد متن ایمیل به استادان

[M1KE]

1. نمی دونم چرا برخی از قسمت های متن رو ایتالیک کردین که عبارت خاصی هم نبودن؟
   
2. به نظرم دو جمله ای که آبی کردم بهتره جاشون با هم عوض بشه.
   
3. جمله ای که قرمز کردم معنی اش اینطور میشه که چند تا از استادهام رو راهنمایی کردم! بهتره به جای اون قسمت Under supervision گذاشته بشه.
   
4. در قسمتی که به رنگ سبز در آوردم 3 بار اشاره کردین که کار ایشون علاقه دارین!
   
5. به نظرم در قسمتی که قهوه ای کردم بهتره به جای my واژه the گذاشته بشه چون الان برداشت خیلی عامیانه و غیر حرفه ای از اون میشه.
   

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Dear professor X Y,
I am writing to express my desire for being admitted at University of XX for continuing my studies as a master Student in fall 2015. It would be an honor for me if I can follow my studies under your supervision. I graduated in summer 2014 in Landscape Architecture at Binaloud University of Mashhad, Iran .

As research experience, I have conducted undergraduate researches on Persian gardens and determining qualitative and quantitative parameters of assessing urban parks with supervising some of my Professors. The overall aim of our group researches is to determine urban parks weakness and strengths and promote functionality and viability of them for visitors. I would like to continue a path of research on spatial forms of landscape and functionality.
I am especially interested in your previous work on XX it really fascinated me as I am really interested in this subject and one of my university projects followed similar aim and I tried to make my garden alive even at nights when people normally avoid visiting parks.
Reading about your research interests and projects from the web, I found out that the areas of your research fit my interests.
I sincerely appreciate your attention in advance and look forward for your kind response.
Best regards