نمونه Writing های تافل iBT خود را در این تاپیک قرار دهید.

[Pejman]

نمونه Writing خود را (مربوط به آزمون iBT فقط) در این تاپیک به صورت ارسال پست یا ضمیمه کردن فایل قرار دهید، تا کاربرانِ دیگر نظرات و اصلاحات احتمالی خود را در مورد آن عنوان دارند.

[NimaNj]

با سلام اگر امکانش هست یک نگاهی به رایتینگ من بندازید بنظرتون واسه تافلIBT از 30 چند میارم
Why do you think people attend college or university?

In my view, there is different reasons for people who attend the universities. I want to consider four the most important reason for going to universities and colleges from different facets.

Most of People want to go to the universities and the colleges to learn more about different things about world , People and unfamiliar thing that surrounded us in the world. They want to improve their skills in the particular way ;thus, they spent most of their times in the libraries and laboratories to explore new things in the purpose that they might serve to humanities by inventing new thing.

Another reason is about job opportunities. A view of the fact that improving technology and knowledge causes to appear new jobs which need specific knowledge accompaniment to experience. This knowledge will be gained in the universities by experimenting , studying and spending years in particular field that will need in jobs.

Many of people are adventure and like to experience new thing and become familiar with new cultures and people who come from another countries to continue their education abroad; thus, they think it is a good way for reaching to their purpose.

And final reason that I going to discuss about that is having better life. It is undeniable that people are looking for a good living with adequate amenities. Hence, people found that going to the universities and colleges in order to get a higher educational certificate can help them to approach to have a good life.

To sum up, I Explain the reasons which people like to attend to the universities from different aspect. I think going to the universities is one of the best way to build our feature and are the best way for thriving our skills and talents

[Pink Floyd]

Hey Nima,
I'm going to revise your essay in grammatical view.
It's coherent and carefully considered, and each part of it connects or follows in a natural
or sensible way, to my mind.

[Pink Floyd]

Why do you think people attend college or university?

In my viewpoint, there is different reasons for people who attend the universities. I want to consider four the most important reasons for going to universities and colleges from different facets (aspects).
Most people want to go to the universities and the colleges to learn more about different things about the world, people and unfamiliar things which have surrounded us in the world. They want to improve their skills in a particular way; thus, they spent most of their time in the libraries and laboratories to explore new things in the purpose that they might serve humanities by inventing new things.
Another reason is about job opportunities. A view of the fact that improving technology and knowledge causes to appear new jobs which need specific knowledge accompaniment to experience. This knowledge will be gained in the universities by experimenting, studying and spending years in a particular field that will need in jobs.
Many people are adventurous and like to experience new thing and become familiar with new cultures and people who come from other countries to continue their education abroad; thus, they think it is a good way to reach their purposes.
And final reason that I am going to discus (no preposition) is to have better life. It is undeniable that people are looking for a good life with adequate facilities. Hence, people have realized that going to the universities and colleges in order to get a higher educational certificate can help them to approach to have a good life.
To sum up, I Explain the reasons which people like to attend (no preposition) the universities from different aspects. I think going to the universities is one of the best ways to build our feature and are the best way to thrive (advance) our skills and talents

[Pink Floyd]

I think going to the universities is one of the best ways to build our feature and are the best way to thrive (advance) our skills and talents
.The highlighted part should be deleted

[NimaNj]

ممنون اقای پینک که وقت گذاشتین و رایتینگم رو تصحیح کردین چند رایتینگ دیگه هم هست امکانش هست که اون ها رو هم بررسی کنید؟ ممنون
As far as history is concerned, people always lived in a family and consulted their parents about their problems in different aspects of the life; moreover, parents were the best teacher for younger people but nowadays this role becomes more faint than before and we can say exactly there are the best.
It is not undeniable which parents are the nearest to younger people; hence, they are familiar with characteristics of their children better than others. They are only people who want see their children in the best place of their work and living; thus, they prepare different fields for their children to thrive their skills and talents to become prosper in their life.
In view of the fact that parents lived more than their children and experiment different dangers and risks in their life; hence, they have a precious treasure of experiences that are ready intensively to give them to their children; as a result, they can utilize them in their life and have a good living without any serious peril and problem.
On the other hand, with improving of technology most of parents are not willing to use new technologies and modern tools in their house and tend to use traditional methods and tools; as a result, it can put a crimp in learning new technologies and knowledge by children. In other words, parents cannot adapt their self to new changes which happed in the world rapidly in can be a problem in thriving their children skills and talents. As a case in point, with the advent of the computers and using widely of that, parents started to resist against the computers. They thought the computers can be harmful for their children and have bad effects of them.
To sum up, I consider this matter from different facets .but I think parents are the best people for everyone and despite of their negative points, they are the best parents which everyone ever had.

[NimaNj]

به نظر شما ایا با این طرز نوشتن شانسی برای گرفتن نمره دارم؟

As far as history is concerned, people always looked for the best way to prepare their food easier. making food process need a lot of time; thus people had to spend a lot of their time to prepare. their food. Today, traditional making foods evolves to modern techniques which descries time to making food. preparing food effects on people life is a controversial issue which has its own advantage and disadvantage therefore we should consider It from different aspects.
Nowadays, with the advent of freezers and refrigerators, people are able to keep their foods for a long time; in addition to, they don’t need to spend time to get their requirement foods every day. utilizing of new technologies helps people to save more money and foods remain fresh more than before; moreover, inventing of microwave helps people to spend less time to cook their food and they can use their time in another ways which need more time.
another advantage of using of new modern is conservators and another ways that use to keep foods more fresh; as point in this case we can mention to smoking and half-baked foods and using artificial additions can help us to keep food for more times and preserve them of corrupting.
on the other hand, we found that using new methods are economic ways for people to do not waste their time and money in making foods. View of the fact that they have disadvantages which threat people life. Having obesity, blood pleasure, cancers are example of illnesses which lead to using new methods of conserving foods. for instant, using microwave in cooking food in the minimum time causes that food become rare cooked; moreover, many part of food be unripe. this matter causes to germs and bacteria gather in this places as a result people become sick.
to sum up, using modern new modern to preparing food me be economical way in a first look and people able to do more work in a less time but in the long time they can causes to new problems like disease that make people spend their time and money for curing that it can be a enormous problem

[NimaNj]

knowledge or experience?
In my view point, we cannot say exactly which one is better or more important than another. both of them play a vital role in our life; in addition to, we need them for thriving in our life and career; thus, I am going to discuss the effect of them in our life.
As you know, we start to go school since 7years old; besides, we spend years in schools and study different books to learn a lot of things which are essential for our feature. but we observe the things which has been written in books, we would notice that all of this information located in books are the result of gained experiences of experiments by people in the last; hence, reading books just help us to obtain more information about facts which are exist around of our environments and be able to find our way in the feature. As a case in point we can consider books which are study in universities and colleges. they just give information about facts which explored in the last and books cannot say everything more than about them; thus , we should search about new things and gain experience about unknown phenomenon.
on the other hand, we cannot learn a lot of thing of books; moreover, in this place we can understand the importance of experience. for instance, when we communicate with other children in school we start to learn from them about how we should behave with others and find friend or how we can be in relation to other and how we should respect to rules. all of them need experience which we cannot find about them in books. we should learn from our environmental places and other people. this experience will be with us for all of our life and we never forget them unlike book information.
to sum up, I think both of books and experience are fundamental for us .with helping of them we can warranty our life and feature and they are not separable of another.

[Pink Floyd]

ممنون اقای پینک که وقت گذاشتین و رایتینگم رو تصحیح کردین چند رایتینگ دیگه هم هست امکانش هست که اون ها رو هم بررسی کنید؟ ممنون

Welcome dude,
I'm usually as busy as bees on weekdays, but I think I can take a look at them during weekend.

[Pink Floyd]

knowledge or experience?
In my viewpoint, we cannot say exactly which one is better or more important than the other. Both of them play a vital role in our life; moreover, we need them for thriving (to reach our goals) in our life and career; thus, I am going to discuss the effect of them on our life.
As you know, we start to go school since we are 7 years old; besides, we spend years in schools studying different books to learn a lot of things which are essential for our feature. But we observe the things which has been written in books, we would notice that all of this information located in books is the result of gained experiences of experiments by people in the past; hence, reading books just helps us to obtain more information about facts which are (must be deleted) exist around of (must be deleted) our environments and be able to find our way in the feature. As a case in point we can consider books which are study in universities and colleges (?). they just give information about facts which were explored in the past and books cannot say everything more than about them; thus (?), we should search about (must be deleted) new things and gain experience about unknown phenomenon.

on the other hand, we cannot learn a lot of things into books; moreover, in this place we can understand the importance of experience. for instance, when we communicate with other children in school we start to learn from them about how we should behave with (must be deleted) others and find friend or how we can be in relation with others and how we should respect to rules. all of them need experience which we cannot find in books. we should learn from our environmental places and other people. this experience will be with us for all of our life and we never forget them unlike information in books.
to sum up, I think both of books and experience are fundamental for us .with helping of them we can warranty our life and feature and they are not separated from each other.

You must review some points on punctuation.