نمونه Writing های تافل iBT خود را در این تاپیک قرار دهید.

[Anonymous]

Dear shookoh,

I noticed two major things about your note and apart form them, you write well and y are ganna be a great writer some day in the near future...

1- you need to separate three or two major sentences to separated/clear ones with a vivid/ sharp meaning.

2- you are using so many advanced words, which is good really, but you need to get enough professional for that to be able to arrange the whole text+ words professinoally.

take a look to some phrases I ve manipulated here for ya.

To my understanding, I am of the standpoint conceded every person has the personal rights to make his own destiny ( make his/her own decisions/ or chooses his/her own destiny), in some cases he cannot makes underlying decisions alone especially those cases which have effects on other individuals. There appear to be numerous reasons why I hold on, and I would explicate solely (*instructions, It'll make it look more professional if you do not state about your own implications so much/ as you've put already " To my understanding" at the beginning of the paragraph) a few primary ones, as follows. To begin with, for children who cannot recognize the bad from the good, it is of vital significance that they are not able to make pivotal decisions themselves.To begin with, for children who cannot recognize the bad from good, it is a vital significance to be supervised in their most pivotal decisions. To shed more light on the issue, the children do not have so much experience in compared with their parents that they cannot make the authentic decision ( "The" which authentic decision?|) (*instructions: they asked about the "person" at the title not the children , right? ). On the other hand, for the young they are mature enough that they are able to make decision about their personal matters, but they also take advice from the elderly.On the other hand, for the youth who are mature enough to make decisions alone, it seems rational as well to take some solicited advices from the elderly in cases they look for easy ways to succeed.. To put it more simply, for any young person there lie a plethora of decisions such as, choosing a major in university, selection of a life partner, choosing a career and so forth. They should make so many decisions along with living his/her life and it is noteworthy that no one can understand his own issues better than himself. Furthermore, it is quite fruitful to hear the opinions of well-wishers and the experienced respecting the deciding issues. ??? (is is a vague sentence, what are you trying to say?)

[Pink Floyd]

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

“Experience is the best teacher.” I know that it is an old cliché, but I do believe that it is still among the best adages you can share with others. Not all experiences come from books, newspapers or other written sources; in fact, the best way of getting well-experienced is going out and letting the life itself teach you. Of many reasons why this should be the case, three in particular stand out. Everybody is entitled to have their own experiences, in addition, some experiences are unique and some cannot be found in any sorts of books.

Everybody should have his or her own experience with the world. At grade school, books warned us to be in danger of being burned if we put our index finger into boiling water, but none of us knew the concept of burning pain until we ourselves gained this experience. Books are full of fruitful knowledge about the life and the world we living in; however, they are not going to cover all experiences which we inevitably face in our real lives.

Some happenings are worth experiencing in person. In other words, some adventures are unique and deserve to happen at least once in our lifetime. For instance, reading about zero gravity is one thing but stepping on the moon’s face and feeling its reality is something completely different. If you asked an astronaut to compare his impression of weightlessness phenomenon with the feeling he had grasped while reading Neil Armestron’s diary, the answer would be something like that: “Incomparable!”

Not all experiences vital for us are included in books. Let me shed light on this matter. There are too many how-to books and papers on the stand, from how to find a good job to how to clip your kitty’s nail, but as far as I know, there is no book on how to go to knee and ask your beloved soul mate to marry you. We have to deal with such problems on our own, not based on other’s experiences. Furthermore, if you were able to find such information, it would not be the case. An experience that has worked for you is not going to do for me.

These days, people are getting their knowledge and information from various sources, but experience is still among valuable ways of increasing our possession, knowledge, and impression of the world. It still works because it has been fresh all the time, unique and something entirely different from what others experience in a different place or at different time.

[Pejman]

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

“Experience is the best teacher.” I know that it is an old cliché, but (Although it is an old cliche), I do believe that it is still among the best adages you can share with others. Not all experiences come from books, newspapers or other written sources; in fact, the best way of getting well-experienced is going out and letting the life itself teach you. Of many reasons why this should be the case, three in particular stand out. Everybody is entitled to have their own experiences, in addition, some experiences are unique and some cannot be found in any sorts of books.

Everybody should have his or her own experience with the world. At grade school, books warned us to be in danger of being burned if we put our index finger into boiling water, but none of us knew the concept of burning pain until we ourselves gained this experience. Books are full of fruitful knowledge about the life and the world we living in; however, they are not going to cover all experiences which we inevitably face in our real lives.

Some happenings are worth experiencing in person. In other words, some adventures are unique and deserve to happen at least once in our lifetime. For instance, reading about zero gravity is one thing but stepping on the moon’s face and feeling its reality is something completely different. If you asked an astronaut to compare his impression of weightlessness phenomenon with the feeling he had grasped while reading Neil Armestron’s diary, the answer would be something like that: “Incomparable!”

Not all experiences vital for us are included in books. Let me shed light on this matter. There are too many how-to books and papers on the stand, from how to find a good job to how to clip your kitty’s nail, but as far as I know, there is no book on how to go to knee and ask your beloved soul mate to marry you. We have to deal with such problems on our own, not based on other’s (others') experiences. Furthermore, if you were able to find such information, it would not be the case. An experience that has worked for you is not going to do for me.

These days, people are getting their knowledge and information from various sources, but experience is still among valuable ways of increasing our possession, knowledge, and impression of the world. It still works because it has been fresh all the time, unique and something entirely different from what others experience in a different place or at different time.

به نظر من از همه نظر، گرامری، لغتی، استدلال، مثال، و انسجام خوب بود. اون مواردی که قرمز کردم به نظرم اصلاح بشن بهتره. کلاً به شخصه فکر می کنم خیلی از ضمیر "I" بخصوص پشت سر هم استفاده نشه متن قشنگ تر می شه. مورد دوم هم چون باید جمع به کار می بردی، other's درست نیست. موفق باشی.

[QUPHAS]

سلام دوستان
لطفی بنمایید و این رایتینگ من رو هم یک نگاه بندازید!
البته بگم، مدیونید اگر بخندیدا
بالاخره هر کس یک سطحی داره، نه ؟
چون سرعتم پایینه به نتیجه گیری نرسیدم!!!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.
===========


In
my opinion the kind of relationship can tell that telling a lie is acceptable or not. Must of the times lie induce a bad sense to anybody, but I believe that lies can be acceptable in some situation.

Lies are unacceptable when they can hurt other people. For example in friendly relationship, even a lie can obstacle the relation. Last year, I ended my relationship with one of my friends because I was sure that he told me an unreasonable lie. In business relationships honesty is an important factor, too. For example last month I went to an
insurance company to enroll in their services, but I feel the presenter started to exaggerate and wanted to wheedle me. So I didn't sign the convention

On the other hand, lies have some benefits to persons that are listening to those. For example when a child is not good in her or his lessons, teacher may not tell this situation directly, because it can damage child's self-confidence. Instead of that, teacher may use a tactful approach to help the child. Another situation that lies are acceptable is when a doctor didn't tell everything that is happening to a patient. For example my cosine suffered by cancer and when doctors were sure that there is not any hope for cure; they didn't explain this situation to him so he was hopeful and happy until he died.

[Pejman]

سلام دوستان
لطفی بنمایید و این رایتینگ من رو هم یک نگاه بندازید!
البته بگم، مدیونید اگر بخندیدا
بالاخره هر کس یک سطحی داره، نه ؟
چون سرعتم پایینه به نتیجه گیری نرسیدم!!!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.
===========


In
my opinion the kind (type) of relationshipcan tell that telling a lie is acceptable or not (determines whether lying is acceptable or not). Must (Most) of the times lie induce a bad sense to anybody (people) (*it's a vague sentence*), but I believe that lies can be acceptable in some situation (situations).

Lies are unacceptable when they can (*you can omit "can"*) hurt other people. For example (,) in friendly relationship (relationships), even a lie can obstacle the relation (*vague sentence again*). Last year, I ended my relationship with one of my friends because I was sure that he told me an unreasonable lie. In business relationships honesty is an important factor, too. For example (,) last month I went to an
insurance company to enroll in their services, but I feel (felt) the presenter started to exaggerate and wanted to wheedle me. So (*not very formal. You could say therefore instead*) I didn't sign the convention

On the other hand, lies have some benefits to persons that are listening to those (them). For example (,) when a child is not good in her or his lessons, (the) teacher may not tell this situation directly, because it can damage child's self-confidence. Instead of that, (Instead,) (the) teacher may use a tactful approach to help the child. Another situation that (in which) lies are acceptable is when a doctor didn't (doesn't) tell everything that is happening to a patient. For example (,) my cosine (cousin) suffered by (from) cancer and when (the) doctors were sure that there is (was) not any (no) hope for cure; they didn't explain this situation to him so he was hopeful and happy until he died.

سلام، متن شما اونقدرها هم که فکر می کنید بد نیست. البته باید بگم که اشتباهات گرامری و نگارشی نسبتاً زیاد دارید. بهتره کمی با استفاده از منابع Writing و گرامر، در این دو مقوله وضعیت تون رو بهتر کنید. خیلی جاها جملات رو ترجمه تحت الفظی کردید، که باید سعی کنید این شیوه رو کنار بذارید. موضوع رو خوب بسط ندادید، البته دلیلش رو عنوان کردید خودتون. البته مثال ها و نظراتتون به نسبت بد نبود. وجود یک پاراگراف برای conclusion هم حتماً لازم هست. من سعی کردم مواردی که به نظرم اشتباه بود رو با قرمز اصلاح کنم، البته به نظرم یه سری جملات در کل مشکل دارند و نیاز دارند از اول نوشته بشند.
در کل من پیشنهاد می کنم روی گرامر و شیوه های نگارش بیشتر کار کنید. به انجمن منابع مطالعاتی مراجعه کنید، منابع خوبی برای هر دوی اینها وجود داره. امیدوارم موفق بشید.

[Pink Floyd]

من یه پیشنهاد دارم واست بجای 5 پاراگرافی 4 تایی بنویس، کمتر بنویس ولی بهتر بنویس. حتما ریوایز کن نوشته ات رو. کمتر بنویسی و درست کمتر اشتباه توش پیدا میشه. آسمونم زمین نمیاد با 4 پاراگرافی وقتم واسه اصلاح خواهی داشت.

[QUPHAS]

ممنون میشم نطرتون رو در مورد این رایتینگ هم بدید.

Learning by reading about things or by doing things?



We have two powerful methods to learn new things. The first method is reading and the second is experience. I believe, depend of type of activities either methods may have more importance in learning process.


In subjects that contain absolute definitions like philosophy, reading and using of diverse sources is more important in learning process than experience because these subjects have a lack of visual and practical aspects. Someone that his or her major is philosophy or literature has to read a lot. For example, one of my friends is a graduate student of philosophy; he spends most of his time in libraries and reads his hard books.


On the other hand, we have many subjects that are practical, so experiences play important role on them and therefore reading materials are not so useful. For example, if you want to learn swimming or ridding bicycle, there as only one choice, try them again and again. Michele Phelps, American swimmer and the greatest Olympic champion, swims fifty kilometers every week. I guess he doesn't need to deal with books very much.


There is also a third type that I believe both method have same importance. For example, we have to pay enough attention to reading and also experience on the pre-college educations because students supposed to deal with wide ranges of knowledge. I this kind of education you need to read to be familiar with new subjects and also need to experience for best realization of what you are reading. Another example is to learn speak a foreign language that is dependent on reading and also trying to do it.


I believe Both methods, reading and experience, are important but depend on type of subject, one of them may be more important.

[Pejman]

ممنون میشم نطرتون رو در مورد این رایتینگ هم بدید.

Learning by reading about things or by doing things?



We have two powerful methods to learn new things. The first method is reading and the second is experience. I believe, depend of type of activities either methods may have more importance in learning process.


In subjects that contain absolute definitions like philosophy, reading and using of diverse sources is more important in learning process than experience because these subjects have a lack of visual and practical aspects. Someone that his or her major is philosophy or literature has to read a lot. For example, one of my friends is a graduate student of philosophy; he spends most of his time in libraries and reads his hard books.


On the other hand, we have many subjects that are practical, so experiences play important role on them and therefore reading materials are not so useful. For example, if you want to learn swimming or ridding bicycle, there as only one choice, try them again and again. Michele Phelps, American swimmer and the greatest Olympic champion, swims fifty kilometers every week. I guess he doesn't need to deal with books very much.


There is also a third type that I believe both method have same importance. For example, we have to pay enough attention to reading and also experience on the pre-college educations because students supposed to deal with wide ranges of knowledge. I this kind of education you need to read to be familiar with new subjects and also need to experience for best realization of what you are reading. Another example is to learn speak a foreign language that is dependent on reading and also trying to do it.


I believe Both methods, reading and experience, are important but depend on type of subject, one of them may be more important.

من دوست دارم نظراتم رو صادقانه بگم بهتون. متن شما همچنان ایرادات گرامری نسبتاً زیادی داره. من باز هم توصیه می کنم حتماً روی گرامر بیشتر کار کنید. تو همه مهارت ها سطح شما رو بالا می بره... نیازی نیست خیلی گرامرهای خفن رو یاد بگیرید، یه سری گرامرهای پرکاربرد و معمولی رو هم بتونید خوب یاد بگیرید و به کار ببرید می تونه نمره تون رو خیلی بالا بکشه. برای مثال در به کار بردن مفرد و جمع، به کار بردن بعضی حروف اضافه، و همینطور ساختار جملات compound و complex باید بیشتر کار کنید.

در مورد محتوای متن، در کل بد نبود و از متن قبلی تون بهتر بود. سعی کردید مزایای هر کدوم رو با مثال بیان کنید. البته اگر بتونید روی پاراگراف های اول و آخر کمی بیشتر کار کنید بهتره. بیش از حد خلاصه نوشتید، بخصوص بخش conclusion رو.

موفق باشید.

[QUPHAS]

من دوست دارم نظراتم رو صادقانه بگم بهتون. متن شما همچنان ایرادات گرامری نسبتاً زیادی داره. من باز هم توصیه می کنم حتماً روی گرامر بیشتر کار کنید. تو همه مهارت ها سطح شما رو بالا می بره... نیازی نیست خیلی گرامرهای خفن رو یاد بگیرید، یه سری گرامرهای پرکاربرد و معمولی رو هم بتونید خوب یاد بگیرید و به کار ببرید می تونه نمره تون رو خیلی بالا بکشه. برای مثال در به کار بردن مفرد و جمع، به کار بردن بعضی حروف اضافه، و همینطور ساختار جملات compound و complex باید بیشتر کار کنید.

در مورد محتوای متن، در کل بد نبود و از متن قبلی تون بهتر بود. سعی کردید مزایای هر کدوم رو با مثال بیان کنید. البته اگر بتونید روی پاراگراف های اول و آخر کمی بیشتر کار کنید بهتره. بیش از حد خلاصه نوشتید، بخصوص بخش conclusion رو.

موفق باشید.

پژمان جان من این صداقتت رو دوست دارم
خیلی ممنون، باید کارهای اساسی بکنم!!!!

[Cortex]

We have two powerful methods to learn
new things. The first method is reading and the second one is experience(what's the relation between doing things and experience?how about reading? no experience gained by reading? I mean better to say Practical works instead of Experience cuz both of 'em have XP...) . I
believe, depends on type of activities either methods may have more
importance in learning process (PERSIAN sentence which converts to English) Do not mumble Farsi sentences in your mind while you are writing.





In subjects that contain absolute definitions like philosophy, reading
and using of diverse sources Are more important in learning process than
experience because these subjects have a lack of visual and practical
aspects. Someone who his or her major is philosophy or literature has
to read a lot. For example, one of my friends is a graduate student of
philosophy; he spends most of his time in libraries and reads his hard
books.





On the other hand, we have many subjects that are practical, so
experiences play important role on them and therefore reading materials
are not so useful. For example, if you want to learn swimming or ridding
bicycle, there as only one choice( didn't get what you wanna say), try them again and again. Michele
Phelps, American swimmer and the greatest Olympic champion, swims fifty
kilometers every week. I guess he doesn't need to deal with books very
much.





There is also a third type that I believe both method have same
importance. For example, we have to pay enough attention to reading and
also experience on the pre-college educations because students supposed
to deal with wide ranges of knowledge. I this kind of education you need
to read to be familiar with new subjects and also need to experience
for best realization of what you are reading. Another example is learn to speak a foreign language that is dependent on reading and also
trying to do it(What are you talking about?)tnx.





I believe Both methods, reading and experience, are important but depend on type of subject, one of them may be more important
Honestly! It's not a nice conclusion dude... did you spend more than 5 minutes to write

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by and large... try to read more dense and congruous texts like older iBT samples and blah blah
this writing was not appropriate for TOEFL Exam...
improve the range of your verbal,read read read, practice practice practice
Yours ...